30 Days of Stress

Good afternoon,
With only 7 days until my birthday and 14 days until Thanksgiving, none of the things that have occurred in the past 30 days could have ever been predicted. On Monday October 1st, I was excited. Something about the first day of the month beginning on a Monday, gave me an exuberating feeling of nothing but success to follow. Days one through 7 seemed to reiterate that this was indeed the case. However on the early morning of the 8th day, everything appeared to go downhill. I was awakened in the wee hours of the morning being informed that my teenage son, unknown to me, was out of the house and had been arrested! Dumbfounded, I sat in silence for a long period of time, awaiting the the details. Later that morning, I was informed he could possibly be charged as an adult. Late morning, early afternoon, I was sitting in an interview room at the police station, trying to grasp the information that was being relayed to me. Words would only limit the millions of thoughts that ran through my head as I tried to process what was going on. It was all so mind boggling. Less than 24 hours prior, everything had been going great.
My anxiety level was at its highest, as there would be a 48 hour waiting period before I would know how this scenario would play out. No answers, just questions, I tried to hold it together as best I could. Two days later without warning, I received a call from the County Jail indicating that my son was now an inmate. How was this possible? The last conversation I had with the detective was that the case was under investigation and that I would be contacted as to whether or not charges would actually be filed. So much for that notification, that was out the window.  As I called and inquired about what was going on, I encountered much resistance. No one was willing to talk to me... they now had no obligation to do so. He had been charged as an adult. He was being held on a $60,000 bond!
Frustrated, I realized that I had to immediately seek and obtain an attorney on his behalf. That led me to yet another obstacle, money. Every attorney I contacted wanted $10,000, $8500, $7000,  to take the case...
Fast forward to Sunday, October 14th. It was a windy and rainy day. I returned home late afternoon, approximately 4pm. My home has been burglarized. Obviously by one or some of my teenager's friends, it was too clean. The burglar had been too comfortable and had known exactly what and where to locate the items they wanted to steal. Not being one to be caught up in material things, I try not to let things of that nature consume me, I can always replace the items. However this time was different. This instance of crime against me left an uneasy feeling in my being.
I run a  daycare, so with all the electronics stolen, I had to feverishly try to replace some of the items for the children's sake, no time for waiting to do an insurance claim.
During this same time, I was informed that my grandmother who has successfully battled cancer off and on for several years now, was not doing well. I had to tuck away my immediate problems and muster up the strength and energy to visit her. What a task that proved to be, while dealing with the anxieties of my own life and trying to maintain a smile, hold it together, and make sure that she was ok. Once I arrived, I was glad I did. I visited with her and talked to her about what was going on with my son and listened as she assured me that I couldn't blame myself for the actions of my son, I had done the best I could do. We laughed and talked and I remember telling her how every time my son does something wrong or causes me stress, I can hear words in my head " just you wait, when you have your own kids, they're going be 2x's as bad as you!"
I had seen my grandmother just a few weeks prior to this when she came to my first official book signing. I was so excited that even through her illness and her weakness, she made the effort to be there to see one of the many accomplishments that I have made, since being that unruly child/teen previously "lost in rebellion." Weeks before that when I had visited with her she told me how proud she was of me for turning my life around and making such positive changes, and she was most definitely proud of me for publishing my first two books. Throughout the journey to being an author, I had periodically stopped in to visit with her and share my progress. Articles in the local newspapers, online magazine features, and my book covers, etcetera; she shared these moments with me.
In the last few weeks, I have been overwhelmed and overworked based on the other things that were going on with me, but I planned to visit her today, hoping to not let much time go by without contact.
Unfortunately, I didn't make it to see her today as planned. Instead I was awakened early this morning with the sad news that she had passed away.
I thought about the last time I saw her and remember her exactly that way. She was smiling through her pain, offering me encouraging words. It hit me, today is November 8th, on October 8th, I was recieving devasting news. Here today again, I am awakened to the same.
Things could be worse, and I keep telling myself that through the tears and pain. What I can say however is, I never heard her complain about her pain in my visits. If she had such strength through such a trial, how can I complain about the stressors in my life. So while the last 30 days have been stressful and feel like the month from hell, it could be much worse. I have shed my tears about all of the events and know that there will be more tears to come, however, I will not allow this to consume me. Next Thursday will prove to be my greatest challenge as I will be celebrating the life of my grandmother on my birthday and sending her away to the comfort of God's arms on the next day. May she rest peacefully as the pain is no more, she fought a good fight! I hope to maintain that same strength and fight as I continue through this thing called life.